www.ohmenerves.com

2007-08-20T22:49:00.000-03:00

www.ohmenerves.com

www.ohmenerves.com

www.ohmenerves.com

www.ohmenerves.com

www.ohmenerves.com

http://www.ohmenerves.com/

2006-06-22T01:34:00.000-03:00

Hey folks... I'm hosting my blog on my own website now... It's still in construction phases right now, but it is the new home of my blog... be careful; don't step on a nail! :-)

Come visit me at www.ohmenerves.com from now on...

Shit in FM Stereo

2006-06-20T22:09:00.000-03:00

The Oilers ran out of gas and the Hurricanes blew them away.

2006-06-20T08:50:00.000-03:00

Sorry about that.

Go Oilers GO!

2006-06-19T15:57:00.000-03:00

I don't really watch hockey. The regular season can come and go and I wouldn't have watched a single game. But when the playoffs roll around, I perk up a bit and start paying attention. I watch more closely as the Canadian teams advance. This year, the Oilers have made it particularly interesting with their miracle comeback. After blowing a 3-goal lead in the first game against Carolina, I pretty much had them written off. Now, they've come back from a 3-games-to-1 deficit and we are headed into game 7 tonight!

It'll be a nail-biter. Go Oilers GO!!

I've added Enhanced Commenting

2006-06-16T11:29:00.000-03:00

I've added some enhanced commenting features. I didn't do any investigation, I just found another site using Haloscan and I decided to add it to my blog. Some (or at least one) of you will be interested to know that you can now add an RSS feed to comments on this blog. (I have not tested this yet.)

If you were quick and got to the RSS feed too quickly, you may want to set it up again. I've changed my account name and as such, the link changed.

What goes: run, open, flip, brush, close, run, and gets wet in the process?

2006-06-14T08:55:00.000-03:00

Me... running back and forth to the BBQ last evening in a thunderstorm.

By the time I sat at my table enjoying my pork steak and hot wings (with fries) the sun was shining and the birds were chirping.

(sigh)

Rain, Rain Go Away

2006-06-08T08:32:00.000-03:00

Enough already!

It stopped raining this week only long enough to get the jungle mowed in the yard. I'm usually not one to complain about the weather, but I'm thinking about building an ark.

What's black and blue and floats in the harbour?

2006-06-05T12:42:00.000-03:00

Recently, I've been witness to a debate on Steel White Table over the use of the term "Newfie". I posted about the use of this term on a couple of occasions (here and here). As indicated there , I had always been ok with the use of the word as long as someone wasn't using it in a malicious way. I've only come across a few rude people in my life who used it in this way, and I've come across a few more (all Quebecers) who use the term to mean "a stupid person". One such person never even knew that the term had anything to do with Newfoundland. I'm secure enough to ignore them or embarrass them right back, depending on my mood.

I came across another blog recently that, for some reason, changed my perspective on the term. No new arguments or anything... maybe just a little more history and maybe he just wrote it so well. But now, I'm converted. His post is worth reading. Check it out here.

I won't be so tolerant of Newfie jokes going forward. But I'll leave you with one now:

What's black and blue and floats in the harbour? A mainlander who told too many Newfie jokes.

What are YOU doing this weekend?

2006-06-02T08:43:00.000-03:00

Doesn't look too promising for outdoor activities, does it? I was hoping to assemble the screen porch on the front of my house. I'll try to get an early start and get it done before the rain starts... I might start this evening if I don't get a phone call to play pool. Don't tell my wife, or she'll make sure the call doesn't happen!

(Just kidding Sweetie.)

Cool Stuff - Pocket Mod

2006-05-31T14:52:00.000-03:00

This was too cool not to post.

I saw this post on Steel White Table this morning and had to post it too. It's a really neat application that allows you to create customized, disposable pocket notepads from a single sheet of paper (some assembly required).

I tried it out and it is pretty nifty! You too can have your very own FREE Pocket Mod notepad. Check it out at PocketMod.com.

... on the other hand

2006-05-30T17:14:00.000-03:00

Last night my post was a little vague in reference to what it was that was pissing me off. I won't say anything here to clear up the confusion other than saying "you're wrong, it's not you." :-)

That's me, a riddle wrapped in an enigma, sealed with duct tape.

Cheers!

Conclusion illusion

2006-05-30T00:10:00.000-03:00

I'm amazed sometimes at some people's ability to draw a conclusion that fits their purpose... Even when the evidence is overwhelmingly pointing in one direction, they allow their destination hallucination to take over. They see something that simply is not there, but supports their denial.

This is all harmless enough, until it's projected onto others.

Holy Trickshot Batman!

2006-05-27T01:21:00.000-03:00

My friend Jody sent me these video clips from Milk and Cookies.

Part 1
Part 2

Some pretty freaky trick shots here. I know my pool buddy Paul would appreciate them.

Paul?

Forgive me, Jody, for I have sinned...

2006-05-23T13:18:00.000-03:00

... it has been three weeks since my last post. (There, Jody! You can stop bitching that I'm not posting... at least for the next three weeks!)

And what a three weeks it's been.

I've been on my first business trip since starting my new job. Rhode Island. Not a bad spot. While I was there I went to a casino called Mohegan Sun. THAT was an impressive place that stole $40 US from me.

I've renovated two bedrooms; well, one home office and one bedroom really. Ripped up carpet, installed laminate flooring, painted etc.

I've dragged two trailer loads of junk from my house to the dump, put a whole bunch of crap out to the garbage for "junk collection week", had a garage sale ($280 cha-ching!), and donated a van full of stuff to charity. Now I ask you, do you think I had a lot of clutter? I still do.

I'm also adjusting VERY well to my new found stores of time. Since starting this new job, I realized how much time I was wasting before my old job got freaky busy. I've learned how to be productive! Wow...

I should have more time to post, eh? Well, the challenge isn't time... it's imagination. Imagine that.

4x4 Pool Table

2006-05-02T22:54:00.000-03:00

You never know when you are 4-wheeling and want to shoot some stick!

This was a unique photo opportunity that came up a while ago. Usually when these situations happen I say, "I wish I had my camera!!"

My Aunt Rosie died tonight

2006-04-26T23:36:00.000-03:00

My mom's younger sister died tonight after a long battle with Huntington's Disease. Here she is, almost four years ago at my house.

Huntington disease (HD) is a hereditary brain disorder with devastating effects on both mind and body.

One in every 1,000 Canadians is touched by HD – for example, as an affected individual, person at risk, friend, family member or caregiver.
One in every 10,000 Canadians has Huntington disease.
Every child of a person with HD has a 50% risk of inheriting the disease.

My mother is one of five children, and she is the only one of the five who didn't inherit the disease (80%). This means that neither I nor my siblings can get it. Mom's other younger sister (Suzie) passed away several years ago and her older brother (Patty) passed away several months ago. She only has one sibling left, an older sister (Patricia), who has been in a home for several years now with the disease. It is very difficult to watch as a loved one slowly deteriorates from the disease.

I am very saddened at her passing. She was (as were each of my mother's family) a very good person who had been through a lot of hardship in life, especially early on. She has found peace and is now with Uncle Patty and Aunt Suzie.

God bless you Aunt Rosie.

Move over Minnesota Fats

2006-04-18T00:14:00.000-03:00

I play in two seperate pool leagues. Although the game frustrates me at times, I find it to be a fun and challenging way to spend some of my free time. Like I said, I'm in two leagues. My Wednesday night league is a "fun" league. Anyone can join, the rules are a little bit relaxed, and the stakes are low. The Monday night league is a "Vegas" league. It's a little more intense and competitive. The winning team earns a free trip to represent the league in a national tournament in Las Vegas, Nevada. BIG stakes!

Now the news...

In my "fun" league, my team barely made the playoffs by coming in 6th place, the final berth of the playoffs. We played well and it came right down to the wire... We tied the championship round and forced a tie breaking playoff. We lost... er... came in second place overall.

In my "Vegas" league, the top half of the teams played the finals in the "A" division, competing for the trip to Vegas. The bottom half played the finals in the "B" division, competing for pride and a couple of bucks. My team was second to last place in the regular season, pushing us into the "B" division competition. We pounded our fellow "B" division teams and earned an opportunity to compete for the title. Well, we clinched the title tonight... 1st Place among the losers!

What a week! Second place AND the best of the losers!!! Imagine what I could accomplish if I could actually shoot pool...

Permanent Vacation - almost

2006-04-18T00:09:00.000-03:00

Well. I did it. I resigned from the company I've worked with for 6 and a half years. I've had a great time, learned a lot, and had the opportunity to work with and for gobs of great people, many of whom I hope I remain in contact with.

So, the good news for all of y'all out there is that hopefully my posts regarding me being a workaholic and my exposure to the she-devil will be a thing of the past!!!

My last day was last Thursday, and I start my new job this coming Monday (the 24th). I'll try to post more often and more interestingly going forward...

Spring has sprung

2006-03-31T19:24:00.000-04:00

What a winter! Here in Moncton it was nothing to speak of, really. A couple of decent snowfalls with a lot of nothing in between. My snow tires didn't get much of a workout.

Now, I think, spring is coming early. The tulips in my garden are starting to sprout (I say "starting" but they are already quite high), and other plants are starting to show signs of new growth. Spring is by far my favourite time of the year.... new life just trying to push forth. The changes are just so dramatic and significant, it just amazes me. (I'm easily impressed, eh?)

This year, I have decided that spring will spring my life as well. After the rough winter I put in at work and the rough month I just put in with my health, I am fully prepared to push forth, initiating new growth into my life. Without getting too sappy, I have a new appreciation for what's important.

I had laryngitis this week, but I'm not gonna die

2006-03-18T10:15:00.000-04:00

I started feeling sick, oh, about 9 or 10 days ago. I got up early last Saturday to go to work (yeah, work... on Saturday). Anyways, I got up, showered, read the paper, got ready and left the house. My wife and son were still in bed, and I wasn't in the mood to sing. I went to Tim Horton's (I needed my Roll Up to Win), went in, stood in line, went up to the counter and said..... nothing. I couldn't speak... nothing but air! I'd never had laryngitis before. I haven't sounded like hell now for about a week. My voice is just coming back to life now.

I just looked up laryngitis on the net and was happy to see that it won't likely kill me.

Mortality/Morbidity: Because acute laryngitis is usually self-limited and treated with conservative measures, significant morbidity and mortality are not encountered. Patients who develop acute laryngitis from an infectious etiology rather than vocal trauma may ultimately injure their vocal folds. The deficient voice production in patients with acute laryngitis may result in application of a greater adduction force or tension to compensate for the incomplete glottic closure during an acute laryngitic episode. This tension further strains the vocal folds and decreases voice production, ultimately delaying return of normal phonation.

Whew!

Curling Gold and National Pride in Newfoundland and Labrador

2006-03-14T19:45:00.000-04:00

Canada Free Press Article

Atlantic & East Coast Report
Curling Gold and National Pride in Newfoundland and Labrador
By Myles Higgins
Tuesday, February 28, 2006

On Friday February 24th, history was made when the Newfoundland and Labrador men's rink captured curling gold for Canada. Many in the province and throughout the country watched with pride as Brad Gushue and the team from the St. John's curling club captured Canada's first-ever gold medal in curling and the first gold medal of any kind for Canada's newest province.

Read Comments section for more...

To all of my adoring fan(s)

2006-03-08T09:26:00.000-04:00

Don't want to continue disappointing y'all with sparce, infrequent updates,
so ....

I went to Canadian Tire the other day and bought a fan just so I could
double the membership in my fan club.

Seriously. Things have been pretty hectic lately. By "lately" I mean
since as long as I can remember; around about the time I started this blog,
coincidentally. Hmmmmm.... That's IT!!! :-)

I think I'm going crazy. But, they say the crazy don't know they are
crazy. If that's true, then I must just be confused.

I think my computer is talking to me...

2006-02-23T08:47:00.000-04:00

Even my computer is knows I'm working too much.

Listen to your computer... it's trying to tell you something.

"For now I'm 64"

2006-02-13T23:26:00.000-04:00

February 13th... today was my Dad's 64th birthday.

Here he is many, MANY moons ago with my mother. He was probably 18 in this picture. He's a good man, with a big heart.

That's it. That's all. Happy Birthday, Dad.

You don't say...

2006-02-13T15:18:00.000-04:00

Workaholic

2006-02-09T08:46:00.000-04:00

Wikipedia defines a workaholic as a person addicted to work. This addiction may be pleasurable to the victim or it may be burdensome and troubling.

I think a person can be a workaholic without actually being addicted to it. I think that loyalty to your peers, company, and ego can put you in a mode that has the appearance of workaholism. So, in my opinion, if what I am doing now is not an addiction, then where do I draw the line?

Several months ago (November 12), I posted Sleep Work Sleep Work and thought, naively, at that time that I would only see another month of it.

That's it. Nothing else. I just wanted to publicly acknowledge that I was wrong. Maybe several months from now I'll re-read this post and decide to draw a line. I hope so.

Drinking with Steve - Never drink alone again!

2006-02-07T21:36:00.000-04:00

Giving 118%

2006-02-06T14:42:00.000-04:00

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while "Hard work" and "Knowledge" will get you close, and "Attitude" will get you there, it's the "bullshit" and "Ass kissing" that will put you over the top.

Kids say the darndest things

2006-02-02T23:37:00.000-04:00

The Optimist and the Pessimist

2006-02-02T23:20:00.000-04:00

Some say the optimist sees the glass as half full, while the pessimist says it's half empty.

I say it depends on whether you are pouring or drinking.

Bitching about the weather

2006-02-01T13:34:00.000-04:00

You know, I hear so many people complaining about the weather... Here we are, in Moncton, at the first part of February and we are getting a couple of centimeters of snow adding to the couple that are already there. This time other years we would be up to our ankles, headfirst, in snow and looking at minus 30 Celsius. The other day, it was minus 6 and someone was complaining about how cold it was... We are so, so easily spoiled.

My friends at Steel White Table have a webcam set up to look at the terrible weather in St. John's today. Quick.... the weather changes there by the hour!

Can't wait until people are bitching about how hot it is.

Mid-life crisis

2006-01-22T21:15:00.000-04:00

My wife and I are lying on the couch last evening, nice and cozy, watching some movie on TV. She looked at me and, as she often does, started to observe how old I am starting to look. She takes great pleasure in this for some reason.

So, she says to me "God, Steve. You are really starting to get old! Do you think you are going to go through a mid-life crisis?" I said, "I don't know. I hope so. I've heard they're a hoot!"

She didn't laugh. Sigh.

The Detroit International Car Show

2006-01-19T22:41:00.000-04:00

Camaro Concept Car

'Nuff said.

Twenty Four days - summarized

2006-01-11T00:01:00.000-04:00

What have I done? Where have I been? Will I ever write again? Will my toe grow back?

I know you have all been wondering if you would ever know the answers to these questions...

To catch you all up to speed... Work was (and is) crazy. I feel like I'm running around in circles looking for a corner. My family and I went to Newfoundland (home) for Christmas and had a super time! Haven't been there that time of year for 6 years now. Ate too much, drank to much, never slept enough, gained 6 pounds. I wish I could win the lottery so I could do it all over, in an infinite loop. Got called back in from vacation two days early (four if you include the weekend) (six if you include how pissed off I was!). And now.... now, I'm in Detroit. But on the brightside, I am staying an extra day so I can go to the North American International Auto Show. Should be a great show! (My son is pissed off at me!) :-)

Ok... now you are back with my on my life's timeline. Wondering why you come here now?

'Tis the season to be stupid

2005-12-17T23:49:00.000-04:00

What a freakin' day...

It snowed last night. Just a few centimeters, but it rained a little and I wanted to clean it up before it froze solid. Well, I usually clean up my neighbour's driveway while I am out there. Doing their driveway, I figured I'd scoot my snowblower across their walkway as well. They live in a duplex and share a walkway with their neighbour. I didn't feel right stopping halfway across the walkway so I went all the way across. Well, my neighbour's neighbour has these plastic candycanes lining her walkway. I didn't realize that they were "light-up" candycanes. Under the snow was a network of extension cords and Christmas lights. Not for long. The candycanes disappeared into my snowblower faster than you can say "Merry Christmas". Shit. Stupid event number one.

So... I figure I should go and pick up some replacement candycanes. (The lady wasn't home, and I was hoping to have the replacement ones before she got back.) I finish up my driveway, and go into the house to get ready. I wanted to trade my winter jacket for my leather jacket. I had just gotten back from a business trip to Detroit yesterday and there was some stuff in my pockets. What's this? A set of keys? Oh shit... shit! The keys to the rental car! I returned the rental to the airport, full of gas, neatly parked... but forgot to return the keys! Stupid event number 2. (By the way, National Car Rental graciously accepted my explanation and closed out my contract as if I had returned the car normally the day before! Now THAT'S customer service. All I have to do is courier the keys out to them.)

They say these things come in threes... Waiting for stupid event number 3 ruined my day... 11 minutes to midnight... gulp!

The answers are: Toronto, Detroit, India

2005-12-12T12:16:00.000-04:00

The question: Name three places you don't want to be right now. I have a business trip in Detroit this week, so I decided to come to Toronto a couple of days early to get my India work Visa. That's another story.

So, here I am, waiting in a crowd at the India Consulate in Toronto. I was told that getting an India Visa is simple if you come here in person. Time will tell, but last time was pretty simple. I mailed my application and my passport to the Indian consulate and BAM, two weeks later my passport returned with an Indian Visa pasted to page 17. It was a little unnerving sending my passport through the mail, but it worked.

Back to my current situation. Andrew at work told me that you simply come here in the morning and drop off your application and your passport in the morning and then pick it up in the evening. The offices open at 9:30, I got here at 10:00. (Finding the place and looking for parking was a minor challenge for this small town Maritimer.) I had to stand in line to get a number to be served. The place was packed and I was clearly in the pale skinned minority. "Now serving 59. I had 92... Jeesh. "Do you take credit card or Interac?". "No, just cash." Shit. I ran (not drove, ran) to the bank and back in 10 minutes. Now serving 70. An hour later, number 92. Finally! I push my way to a server's wicket and she turned me away. MY number was C92, she was serving A92. Shit. Shit. Shit! I should have packed a lunch!

But, hey, I guess I'm lucky. I recall reading on the wall while waiting for my number. "We will distribute numbers until 11:00 am or number 350 whichever comes first. According to my calculations, C92 translates to 292. A few minutes longer and I would have wasted my trip here.

Every now and then, someone's name is called over the intercom and they disappear behind a door with a sign that reads: "Out Of Bounds". The sign is printed on a piece of paper and cut out with a pair of scissors. The "s" in "bounds" is hand-written. Some people come out, but not nearly as many as what goes in. Every now and then when the door opens, you can hear people shouting. That's all. Figured I'd add that. Sort of adds to the ambience.

12:15... Now serving B26.

Good advice...

2005-12-09T12:37:00.000-04:00

"I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine."
Fritz Perls

Those of you who have known me for a while and have had the misfortune of having to endure my advice, may have heard me say this from time to time. Well, not as eloquently as Fritzy put it, but kind of the same.

"You are responsible for your own happiness. Don't count on much from anyone else, and you won't be disappointed.."
Steve

The 12 hundred litres of Christmas

2005-12-03T16:45:00.000-04:00

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.... a hundred-litre container of decorations for my tree.....
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.... another hundred-litre container of decorations for my tree.....

This morning, after my Saturday trip to the office and my morning coffee, I went to my shed and brought in our Christmas decorations. We keep our decorations in large 100 litre rubbermaid containers in the rafters of my shed. There were 12 (that's twelve, douze, a dozen) of these containers out there!

My wife says we need more decorations. Huh?!? Am I really a scrooge?

My wife doesn't have rocks in her head

2005-12-01T20:42:00.000-04:00

Go figure.

Lately, she's been feeling kind of dizzy in the morning, sort of a vertigo thing. We went to an ENT specialist today and the doctor did a Dix Hallpike Test on her to check for benign positional vertigo. Sounds bad, doesn't it? Turns out that this is not the problem. On to the next test, an MRI or something.

Benign positional vertigo is the most common cause of vertigo. It is caused by a disturbance within the balance organs of the inner ear. The inner ear has tiny stones that move as you change position, allowing your brain to interpret your body's position and maintain your balance. In benign positional vertigo, these stones break off and float free within the semicircular canals of the inner ear. This may happen in one ear more than another, sending the brain confusing messages about your body's position. The result is vertigo.

It was pretty freaky watching it, actually. Looked kind of like a faith healing.

Well, anyway, I don't know if I am happy or disappointed, but it has now been medically proven that my wife's problem has nothing to do with rocks in her head.

She'll probably make me remove this post when she sees it. (Don't tell her, ok?)

In Search of Apotropaic Devices

2005-11-20T21:31:00.000-04:00

Warding off evil... not as simple as one might think.

I used to think that if you live a good life, give to charity, be kind to others, and generally follow the golden rule, the law of "what comes around, goes around" will return the same to you. Not! I interact daily with a person who has weekly lessons with the Satan on how to be more evil. (I don't know how much she charges him...heh heh heh!)

Oh... back to warding off evil. It's hard to pick the right course of action. There are many techniques, methods, symbols and objects that aid can help keep evil at bay or defeat it permanently. Wooden stakes and silver crosses, magic/silver bullets, holy water, feng shui, garlic cloves, the color red, magic knives made of hippopotamus ivory, icons and religious artifacts, rabbits feet and horse shoes, rue (Ruta graveolens -- is a European perennial herb), and gargoyles.

The links provided in this web log posting are provided for entertainment purposes only. The information contained in the associated websites is to be used at your own discretion and risk of peril. No warranty is expressed or implied. ;-)

Don't try this at home.

Celebrity Look-Alikes

2005-11-17T23:00:00.000-04:00

Watching The Apprentice this evening, I couldn't escape the same nagging feeling I've had since I watched the first episode. Every time I see Randal I think, "I've seen this guy before...". But WHERE?

I couldn't figure it out. It grated at me... until tonight!

SQUIDWARD!!!!

Already?

2005-11-13T13:11:00.000-04:00

My brother-in-law called the house this past Friday, proud to be sitting back enjoying his day's work. He decorated his house for Christmas. Christmas! It's bad enough that the stores start selling the stuff as soon as Hallowe'en passes... It must run in the family. My wife would have the house decorated from Labour Day to Valentine's Day.

It's too freakin' early to be complaining that it's too freakin' early to see Christmas stuff everywhere.

One man's junk...

2005-11-12T19:54:00.000-04:00

Englebert Humperdinck is still making someone happy.

Music helps pass the time for me when I'm driving. I made a spindle full of assorted CDs about a year and a half ago for a long road trip. I put everything from Alice Cooper to Johnny Cash to Englebert Humperdinck on those CDs. While my wife dozes and my son plays Playstation, I'll sing along to my tunes while I drive. My taste in music is a source of ribbing, teasing, and at times friction during the road trip and for a short time afterwards. Six or seven songs will pass while my wife snoozes, but a song will come on that she doesn't like coincidentally just as she wakes up from her slumber. "You have lousy taste in music!"

Well, "someone" spilled a hot chocolate over my CDs and I couldn't play them. I'm not paranoid, but I don't think it was an accident. ;-) The CD's have sat for over a year, waiting for me to clean them, until yesterday. We visited friends, Shirley and Kevin, last evening. Shirley asked if I would make her a CD for her own road trips. I immediately went to the van and returned with the CDs, and gave her the whole sticky stack.

She just called me, Englebert Humperdinck belting out "After the Loving" in the background and told me how wonderful I am. (I am, you know!)

By the way, the Johnny Cash link is worth clicking on if you like innovative website designs. This one is slick.

Sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep, work...

2005-11-12T01:03:00.000-04:00

Work work work work... that's all I'm doing and all I'm thinking about these days. I'm starting to get to the point that when I'm not working, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not complaining... I'm giving myself a verbal warning. I don't want to turn into a work-aholic. I reassure myself that I'm not driven by ambition, but by a strong, sincere desire to support the troops, so to speak.

Just get through the next month...without developing a twitch.

She said, "Gordie baby, I know exactly what you mean."

2005-11-08T08:34:00.000-04:00

There's no simple explanation for anything important any of us do. Now the human tragedy consists of the necessity of living with the consequences. Under pressure. Under pressure.
The Tragically Hip

Nuff said.

Haven't forgotten you....

2005-11-06T22:40:00.000-04:00

For my readers (both of you)... ;)

I haven't forgotten you. I'm just kind of busy right now. Things are kind of hectic at work and I'm trying to keep a balance between customer and company. I seem to just piss people off. Oh well... what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Right. Right?

Anyways, I decided to look around and share with you the first thing that caught my eye. I skipped around a few blogs and came across this blog entry.

"I can't write. You may think this is what I'm doing now, but you're wrong. There are words, and then there are words. There are no words for what I want to write about. I have started this post four times already. There are hidden words that no one will ever see..."

This lady seems to be a talented, but very sad writer, missing her friend. Her words struck me and made me realize how lucky I am to have what I have. (I come across this realization often; it never ceases to amaze me how truly lucky I am.) I don't normally post responses on stranger's sites, but I couldn't help myself.

G'night all. I'm closing down my computer and going home to my family.

Cafe Laugh

2005-10-30T18:19:00.000-04:00

I was in Detroit this past week on business... fun stuff. One of the highlights of my week was a visit to Starbucks Coffee.

For those who know me well, or even just a little, I am the type of person who sees the world with a sense of humour, and I respond as such. (i.e. I'm a smartass.) I am very impressed when someone catches me off guard with their own smartassousness.

We went into Starbucks (my first time there) and my boss orders a Cafe Latte - no fat. Looking at a sea of latte this, espresso that, I quickly said "what he's having". The lady responded, "no fat too?". I said, "Oh no, regular please." I turned to my boss and mumbled, "I don't need to worry about letting myself go, I'm married." He smiled, but I heard a lady laugh behind the counter, not the same lady that served me.

I said, "You laughing at me?". "Yes, it was very funny." Knowing how dry my joke was, I stated, "I appreciate you laughing, but it wasn't that funny." She said, "Oh yes it was... you see, I'm divorced." Puzzled, I responded, "... and?" She said, "I left him because he let himself go to pot!"

Spitting latte out my nose, "Thanks... I'll take that under advisement!" My next coffee was with skim milk and artificial sweetener.

How much is your blog worth?

2005-10-28T00:46:00.000-03:00

My blog is worth $0.00.

How much is your blog worth?

Best thing since sliced bread

2005-10-28T00:01:00.000-03:00

Knowing how desparate I am for content, my friends at Steel White Table shared with me this interesting piece of technological advancement:

Large plugs? Bring 'em on!

"We've all been there. Charging our cell phone or drying our hair and needing the other electrical outlet that's eclipsed by that humongous plug. It's annoying, and frankly, we did something about it.

For the first time in history, the receptacles in your wall outlet can rotate a full 360 degrees to make use of both outlets"

Thanks Jody. I'm not proud. I don't mind posting stuff on my blog that's not good enough for yours! After all, your blog IS worth 20,000 dollars.

Did you hear the one about ... ?

2005-10-26T23:56:00.000-03:00

I was going to post a discussion of something that has been a real problem in my professional life for most of 2005. Instead, I thought I'd take a more positive approach. I reckon it would be more productive to post an inspirational quote that I came across:

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Procrastination

2005-10-26T22:28:00.000-03:00

I was going to blog this topic weeks ago... but just never got around to it.

The great touton debate of 2005

2005-10-25T22:53:00.000-03:00

My friends at Steel White Table posted a video on how to cook toutons. This was a very informal and entertaining video that was a fine (yet slightly inaccurate, despite the presence of a Newfoundlander) tribute to a local delicacy. I responded with a post, offering my personal insight regarding the subtle inaccuracies, and spawned a debate over the use of the term Newfie.

It seems as if many people are passionate about the fair treatment of their fellow human beings, even when those treated unfairly are oblivious that they are contributing to the ridicule and injustices aimed their way. I was overwhelmed at the emotional response the term "Newfie" received. I didn't necessarily agree with the seriousness of the debate, but I was flattered and warmed by it regardless. Newfoundlanders have been the butt of many jokes, and it is nice to be rejoiced and defended all at once by someone who simply recognizes the contribution Newfoundland culture makes to the world.

Thank you Phillip (seriously). I can't wait to see your video on how to cook a jigg's dinner! I promise I'll not post a comment. :-)

(Just try to avoid tributes to Polish or Pakistani cuisine!)

Virus Warning...

2005-10-25T15:12:00.000-03:00

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes", delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 1 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!!THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!

Go WILDCATS!

2005-10-18T23:42:00.000-03:00

My 14 year old son got a job with the Moncton Wildcats this evening. He went with a friend over to the Moncton Coliseum with a friend (who was already employed there) after school today and hooked into a job. What a proud day for his dad! His job will consist of stuffing programs (and unstuffing leftovers), general gopher work, and if he proves himself, working concessions and 50/50 tickets.

He gets paid a decent wage, for good, clean work. PLUS he gets to watch the game! Beats a paper route.

The Wilcats lost 3-2 against the visiting Acadie-Bathurst Titan.

Stage fright, writer's block, performance anxiety...

2005-10-16T19:28:00.000-03:00

After Jody told me that I was added to his "must read" list, I became instantly anxious about content. I mean, how do I come up with something worthy of an audience on a regular basis? I worried and stressed and put three posts on my first day. If I can't give them something interesting to read, I'll at least give them a lot to read! Still I fret for content...

But then I watched Growing Up Gotti on A&E. This show takes viewers into the private lives of the (in)famous Gotti family, as single mother Victoria Gotti struggles to balance her writing career, her love life, and looking after her three teenage sons. I watched two episodes, back to back. In one episode, the three boys and their cousin participate in a rap recording session and in the other, two Gotti boys go on a blind date with some good old fashioned, nice Italian girls.

60 minutes of my life, gone forever.

If A&E can grab my attention for an hour with this crap, why am I worried about content?

Heckle Flashback

2005-10-14T08:33:00.000-03:00

One of Moncton's local radio stations, C103, was soliciting the best listener "heckle" to give a pair of tickets to the Just for Laughs Comedy Tour. It reminded me of the best heckle I'd ever heard.

I was on convention in Toronto many, many moons ago, and they had hired a comedian to entertain the crowd during dinner. The guy bombed BIG TIME. He was doing impressions of US-based politicians; and while he was quite good at it, us Canadians were simply not finding the desired humour in it. Folks started to talk amongst themselves and some jeered and heckled the guy. He finally turned to the audience and said something like,"Hey, you guys. I'm getting paid to to this gig, so I'm going to stay here until my time is up. We may as well enjoy it. I'm an impressionist... I can do ANY impression. Tell me what you want to see."

Some guy in the back yelled, "Do a comedian!"

I almost cracked a rib, laughing so hard... the comedian melted into a puddle on the middle of the stage.

God had trouble with His kids too

2005-10-13T23:27:00.000-03:00

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

I won the lottery!!

2005-10-13T21:39:00.000-03:00

For my retirement plan, I put most of my investment money in something that relies solely on pure, dumb luck. With the rest, I play the lottery.

The Atlantic Lottery Corporation has a game called Atlantic Payday. There are 77 numbers, you pick 4, and if you pick the right 4 numbers you win $2,000 every 2 weeks for 20 years.

I matched 3 out of 4 and got 50 bucks... hmph. Time to retire.

Panic! I need CONTENT

2005-10-13T20:41:00.000-03:00

A friend of mine discovered my blog (increasing my reader count to 3, including myself) and told me he was adding my blog to his "must read" list. Was I flattered? I don't know, but I do know that my first thought was "Shit! NOW I need content!" Damn.

I got ROBBED!

2005-10-11T23:57:00.000-03:00

According to Stats Canada, there are more than 2100 thefts under $5,000 per 100,000 people per year.

Some bastards broke into the saddlebags of my motorcycle this evening. I left for just over an hour, to go shopping, and when I returned my saddlebags were opened and the contents removed. The bike was sitting out in the open, in front of my house. They got a pair of leather riding chaps, two pairs of leather gloves, and a pair of Serengeti prescription sunglasses.

To add insult to injury, the cops told me that once the thieves discover the glasses are prescription, they will likely simply toss them. I paid 450 bucks for them. Damn.

2101 and counting.

They call me "Newfie"?

2005-09-18T01:06:00.000-03:00

I was talking with a friend this evening, and she told me that she was always tought that the word Newfie was a derogatory term, loosely meaning "stupid". Yet, many people from Newfoundland call themselves Newfie and are proud to do so. I am one of those.

Here's a funny story.

Several years ago, I was one of several Newfies working in Fredericton on a large government project. We all proudly declared ourselves Newfies. One day, a lady from Quebec who worked with us mustered enough courage to question me as to why I called myself a Newfie. She was even more confused when I said I was proud of it. I further explained to her that is simply means I'm from Newfoundland. Then the light bulb turned on. She had never associated the two. She told me that growing up, her mother always used the term to mean "stupid". If she stubbed her toe or bumped her head on something, her mother would say "you are such a newfie!".

People are such Newfies!

Einstein's Riddle

2005-09-15T20:58:00.000-03:00

Are you in the top 2% of intelligent people in the world?

There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and don't give up.
1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

The Question: WHO OWNS THE FISH?

HINTS:
The Brit lives in a red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The Green house is on the left of the White house.
The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

The answer

Billiards Instruction

2005-09-13T22:48:00.000-03:00

http://www.jimloy.com/billiard/billiard.htm

http://www.engr.colostate.edu/~dga/pool/index.html

These are excellent sources for billiards advice. These are a couple of the few sites I have been able to find that does not actually exist for the sole purpose of selling you something.

...and then there were two.

2005-09-08T21:50:00.000-03:00

Don't know how it happened, but Rex made it through to the final two on Canadian Idol 2005. I'm from Newfoundland and I'm rooting for him, but he is clearly the lesser talent of the group. I know it doesn't really sound like I mean it, but GO REX! (Melissa's gonna win though!)

FISH! Motivational Book?

2005-09-08T21:18:00.000-03:00

I read this book last week. FISH! Philosophy. Our HR department is running the program to help raise morale at the office. Well, after the first chapter I was ready to jump off a bridge. The subject of the book and her husband quit their jobs and moved with their two young children to start a new life in another city. This couple is described as total best friends, into and about each other. Then one day the husband gets sick, dies, and leaves her alone to raise the kids and pay off huge medical bills. All in the first chapter!

I went to the SPCA and watched them put puppies down, just to cheer up.

Satisfaction

2005-09-06T08:32:00.000-03:00

The Stones were in town this past weekend. 85,000 screaming fans. I
didn't go, but I heard it was a hoot.

Mr Magoo strikes again.

2005-09-05T21:49:00.000-03:00

Hey! Back off of my van! Someone should teach Harry how to drive...

Window Wasp

2005-08-25T07:17:00.000-03:00

I wish I had my camera. There's a wasp on the window outside my office. I'm up six floors. This thing is just sitting there. I moved my hand over the window, tapped the window... nothing. I gave the window a heavier tap and it immediately curled a little, as if prepared to sting me.

I studied it from an inch away for several minutes; and I was only a little scared.

The wonders of nature.

Testing 1 2 3, Testing

2005-08-23T01:42:00.000-03:00

Interesting, how much you learn by reading the instructions!

Oh well.

I used to own this car!

2005-08-21T21:30:00.000-03:00

Went to a car show today... and my old car was there! I sold the car to that guy 6 years ago. I had the car for 12 years... I still have a set of keys. Maybe I should drop by sometime and take it for a run, eh?