'Tis the season to be stupid

What a freakin' day...

It snowed last night. Just a few centimeters, but it rained a little and I wanted to clean it up before it froze solid. Well, I usually clean up my neighbour's driveway while I am out there. Doing their driveway, I figured I'd scoot my snowblower across their walkway as well. They live in a duplex and share a walkway with their neighbour. I didn't feel right stopping halfway across the walkway so I went all the way across. Well, my neighbour's neighbour has these plastic candycanes lining her walkway. I didn't realize that they were "light-up" candycanes. Under the snow was a network of extension cords and Christmas lights. Not for long. The candycanes disappeared into my snowblower faster than you can say "Merry Christmas". Shit. Stupid event number one.

So... I figure I should go and pick up some replacement candycanes. (The lady wasn't home, and I was hoping to have the replacement ones before she got back.) I finish up my driveway, and go into the house to get ready. I wanted to trade my winter jacket for my leather jacket. I had just gotten back from a business trip to Detroit yesterday and there was some stuff in my pockets. What's this? A set of keys? Oh shit... shit! The keys to the rental car! I returned the rental to the airport, full of gas, neatly parked... but forgot to return the keys! Stupid event number 2. (By the way, National Car Rental graciously accepted my explanation and closed out my contract as if I had returned the car normally the day before! Now THAT'S customer service. All I have to do is courier the keys out to them.)

They say these things come in threes... Waiting for stupid event number 3 ruined my day... 11 minutes to midnight... gulp!

The answers are: Toronto, Detroit, India

The question: Name three places you don't want to be right now. I have a business trip in Detroit this week, so I decided to come to Toronto a couple of days early to get my India work Visa. That's another story.

So, here I am, waiting in a crowd at the India Consulate in Toronto. I was told that getting an India Visa is simple if you come here in person. Time will tell, but last time was pretty simple. I mailed my application and my passport to the Indian consulate and BAM, two weeks later my passport returned with an Indian Visa pasted to page 17. It was a little unnerving sending my passport through the mail, but it worked.

Back to my current situation. Andrew at work told me that you simply come here in the morning and drop off your application and your passport in the morning and then pick it up in the evening. The offices open at 9:30, I got here at 10:00. (Finding the place and looking for parking was a minor challenge for this small town Maritimer.) I had to stand in line to get a number to be served. The place was packed and I was clearly in the pale skinned minority. "Now serving 59. I had 92... Jeesh. "Do you take credit card or Interac?". "No, just cash." Shit. I ran (not drove, ran) to the bank and back in 10 minutes. Now serving 70. An hour later, number 92. Finally! I push my way to a server's wicket and she turned me away. MY number was C92, she was serving A92. Shit. Shit. Shit! I should have packed a lunch!

But, hey, I guess I'm lucky. I recall reading on the wall while waiting for my number. "We will distribute numbers until 11:00 am or number 350 whichever comes first. According to my calculations, C92 translates to 292. A few minutes longer and I would have wasted my trip here.

Every now and then, someone's name is called over the intercom and they disappear behind a door with a sign that reads: "Out Of Bounds". The sign is printed on a piece of paper and cut out with a pair of scissors. The "s" in "bounds" is hand-written. Some people come out, but not nearly as many as what goes in. Every now and then when the door opens, you can hear people shouting. That's all. Figured I'd add that. Sort of adds to the ambience.

12:15... Now serving B26.

Good advice...

"I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine."

Fritz Perls

Those of you who have known me for a while and have had the misfortune of having to endure my advice, may have heard me say this from time to time. Well, not as eloquently as Fritzy put it, but kind of the same.

"You are responsible for your own happiness. Don't count on much from anyone else, and you won't be disappointed.."

Steve

The 12 hundred litres of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.... a hundred-litre container of decorations for my tree.....

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.... another hundred-litre container of decorations for my tree.....

This morning, after my Saturday trip to the office and my morning coffee, I went to my shed and brought in our Christmas decorations. We keep our decorations in large 100 litre rubbermaid containers in the rafters of my shed. There were 12 (that's twelve, douze, a dozen) of these containers out there!

My wife says we need more decorations. Huh?!? Am I really a scrooge?

My wife doesn't have rocks in her head

Go figure.

Lately, she's been feeling kind of dizzy in the morning, sort of a vertigo thing. We went to an ENT specialist today and the doctor did a Dix Hallpike Test on her to check for benign positional vertigo. Sounds bad, doesn't it? Turns out that this is not the problem. On to the next test, an MRI or something.

Benign positional vertigo is the most common cause of vertigo. It is caused by a disturbance within the balance organs of the inner ear. The inner ear has tiny stones that move as you change position, allowing your brain to interpret your body's position and maintain your balance. In benign positional vertigo, these stones break off and float free within the semicircular canals of the inner ear. This may happen in one ear more than another, sending the brain confusing messages about your body's position. The result is vertigo.

It was pretty freaky watching it, actually. Looked kind of like a faith healing.

Well, anyway, I don't know if I am happy or disappointed, but it has now been medically proven that my wife's problem has nothing to do with rocks in her head.


She'll probably make me remove this post when she sees it. (Don't tell her, ok?)